Pittsburgh trip

The day seemed dreary overall. I felt a little isolated with nobody to really respond to.
I went there for nurse testing. I wish I would have spent more time in studying the general basics. I know I did horrible with the words of relation. There were some big words that I didn't even know. There were a few math problems that I have my doubts with. I think I did well on the reading and comprehension but I ran out of time. Then, with science, it was a well-rounded science. Not just physical anatomical science, but chemistry, physics, and electrical that I had to take some guesses at. As much as I'd like to go to Pittsburgh, I think I'm going to explore other nursing schools more. The competition for this one seems too high and I have a lot of doubts with getting in. Maybe the actual University of MD would be better. I don't think it is in Baltimore though. I'll have to look into it and see if Baltimore has any kind of universities or nursing schools that aren't as hard to get into. It would save money if I stayed in an in-state school. I like Baltimore too.
The day was mixed with both paranoia and mystery. I love the Borders and Barnes and Nobles bookstores, so of course I had to go in and explore. I read the front page of today's Pittsburgh paper and I think they were pissed with what I said about the Veterans. They were accusing an organization of fraud with accepting Veteran money. I think there are a good number of people that don't want to accept the fact that I've been abused and at some harsh verbal, mental, and psychological wars. They'd rather put other labels on me. Of course there is the other side of the argument with taking something too literally. To clear the air: No, I am not in the military, and no I have never been involved in any physical combat. BUT: Yes, I have been abused. Yes, I have dealt with a lot of controlling and abusing people. Yes, I get hated on a lot sometimes in very severe degrees. Yes, I have felt traumatized. Although I have never been diagnosed, I wouldn't doubt it if I do have PTSD. Then, there is the other article which is a little more faint over the healthcare bill and the three senators who won't sign. I have a vague imagination to use, but I don't completely get all of it. It is as if they place it all on me by denying their hate and using the health bill to say I'm mentally unstable. I hate how some people can have horrible judgement. Again, its only a vague imagination, but if it is correct, that is my thoughts on the matter.
I think I may have seen Jon's foodstamp in the store. He was with a family and I didn't really pay much attention to him as I observed the magazine articles.
There was a little bit of namecalling from strangers, one person with a car threatening to hit me. Someone name-called me "red-ass" and I didn't understand that name. I am wearing red panties today, and unless it was meant as something else, they could be trying to say: "You have no privacy here either." Another person called me a baby at the same gas station when asking for directions. I didn't bother bickering and just thought to myself of her being a rude, and definitely person of ignorance. Yes, strangers in a Pittsburgh gas station said this.
There were other people that I thought of as having common courtesy, quiet kindness, or literally trying to be kind. While testing, I felt too anxious, pissed, and a little wondering paranoia to be kind back. I also noticed that she said: "We are skipping every third test question in this particular section." I didn't know how to read that one. I don't consider myself testing people, being belligerent, or provoking. Is she saying by skipping 3, that I will be neglected if I moved there? That people will be snobby and make it impossible to make friends? Who do they think they are to give an intentional karma just because I don't like Cumberland and want to try a new place. If I don't like people and can't get along, then I don't like people and can't get along. That is my business. Its almost as if they feel entitled to punish me just because I don't like my area and want to get out. Who the hell do they think they are to force or ridiculously and inadequately give justice to how I feel? Its not going to change anything. Its not going to force me into accepting anyone. I'm not some child that cult and commune people can toss around, take ownership, and call the shots with. I'm my own adult person who is entitled to feel how I feel and think how I think. Some people are so obsessed with and neverendingly competitive with who rejects who. I'm the type that makes observation, judgement, then decision. If I don't like someone and they continue to harass and bullshit, then I continue to violently hate on them until they let go and get the message that they are not welcome with me. I don't play games.
In another mindset, sometimes, when I wonder if someone could be connected to someone else, I don't like being kind back because I don't want a cancerous misunderstanding of who I like and who I don't like.
I would have liked to explore the town more and get a better feel for it, but I don't know my way around, didn't feel like getting lost nor using the gas money spent to get lost and cruise around. I'm not fond of window shopping either, when I see something I could want badly but not be able to purchase it. I did buy a $3 eggnog latte though that was pretty good.